I hate your crooked smile and your stupid haircut. I hate your jawline and I hate the deep blue color of your eyes. I hate how you live an hour away and we haven’t known each other for very long, but you know what makes me tick because we’re so similar. I hate how I felt like I had to break up with you. I hate the look in your eyes when you’re concentrating on something, thinking about something, how your eyes tend to watch everything around us when we’re walking down the street. I hate how great it felt to be in your bed when we were watching Fight Club because you thought it was unbelievable that I’d never seen it before.
I hate how content I was with how everything felt when I was sitting with my legs between yours in the backseat while your friends were driving us back to your house after the movies, when they were playing Freelance Whales and I was leaning on your chest with my head on your shoulder and your arm around my side, holding my hand with the other, and you sang along to Broken Horse. I hate how beautiful and perfect everything felt then because that’s one of the nights I’m going to remember and I know it’ll torture me for years to come. I miss you already but I feel like I’ve just made you up in my head.
(marcy clark)
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