no shame november

I told myself, that I wouldn’t let this happen. Not again. I wouldn’t let you break me this time like all the rest. Hell, you were never supposed to be the one to finish the job; to take every remaining piece of me and throw it away. You were supposed to be the one to pick them all up from the other boys before you. You were supposed to be the one that helped put me back together. You told me such pretty things in the simplest of ways and together, we believed them all. Even from the very beginning, everything we felt was always so simple, so easy; as if it was only natural to feel this way about someone so quickly. We spent such little time together, but it always felt like it was just enough, like we would make it through this any way we knew how.

I told myself that I wouldn’t have to look anymore, that this was it. No more searching and passing time with lost lovers who you knew weren’t right. I told myself, and you told me too, that we didn’t know what we were doing all this time before because we were supposed to help each other figure it out along the way. We spent our days dreaming of each other while we were asleep and while we were awake and we counted down the days until we could see each other again. With one week left to go, you changed your mind because you were too afraid. Too afraid to take the risk, too afraid to fall. I know you already fell though and I’ve been falling and falling; tripping, stumbling, crawling, falling.

(365words)